[Sonnet Matsuda]

Shortcut My childhood spat back out the monster that you see + Evelyn Winters

To most other people it would be a date like any other, albeit a bit unimaginative for one several months into a relationship. Sonnet has never felt more uncomfortable. The only thing that comes close was when she woke after the first night Evelyn stayed in her apartment. What made this so much worse was that it was planned. She's had all week to dread this, to build it up in her head. What if someone were to see her and report it to one of her men? Or worse, to Kenshin, her boss? The thought makes her chest hurt, and she reaches into her bag for her phone. She hasn't heard anything, perhaps she's missed a message from Evelyn cancelling their plans, or it's well past the arranged time and she's been stood up, or there is some other emergency. The empty notification screen mocks her. She puts the iPhone back in her bag and adjusts it on her shoulder. It's her least identifiable bag, as are the rest of her clothes. They're all expensive, all designer, the blue sundress, the sneakers, all in keeping with her normal taste in fashion. Yet Sonnet has intentionally picked an outfit that doesn't stand out as such. She checks her phone again, then catches herself adjusting her hair in her selfie camera. It's silly really, but she's worried about this. Yesterday she was organising the distribution of a large drug shipment and she was less nervous than she is right now. Forcing herself to put her phone back into her bag, she glances around nervously at the people moving past her. None of them seem to pay her much attention, save the occasional admiring glance and one catcall which she ignores. She wouldn't have ignored it in any other situation, but she wants to do anything but draw more attention to herself right now. When she spots Evelyn she is filled with equal parts relief and apprehension. So she hasn't been stood up and won't have to stand here alone anymore. On the other hand, the rest of this whole thing will be in relative public. The thought fills her with dread. It's not as if things have been going badly. They've just stayed private. Mostly in Sonnet's apartment. There's been no risk of someone else finding out, despite her paranoia. This is just so... Public... Evelyn had asked though, and Sonnet hadn't been able to find a way to keep saying no. Strangely, it had hurt a little when she'd said yes, it had been a lot harder than just continuing with things as they were. She smiles a nervous smile as Evelyn draws closer, feeling like a high school girl on a first date. She's never been that kind of date. "Hi..." She takes a step forward as if to hug Evelyn, but finds her arms too stiff by her side to do so. Instead she halts awkwardly, her arms still by her sides.

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[Evelyn Winters]

Never in her life did Evelyn think she’d have a girlfriend.

Never in her life did she think she’d have any kind of relationship with anyone besides her brother. Sure, she’d had a brush with friendship here and there - her partner at work, the nurse at the hospital, the patient at the psych ward - but they never stuck. All those people had simply faded into oblivion.

And her brother, of course, died.

But since then, she’d developed a deep and loving relationship with a cat, who was walking with her now - white fur patched with pink, twisted scars, lost tail replaced with a deadly cybernetic prosthetic.

And now she had a girlfriend.

Even after all these months, it still felt weird to think about it. She silently mouthed the word. “G-ir-l-fr-ien-d.” Odd. But she liked it. She still wasn’t entirely sure what it meant or how she was supposed to feel about it, but so far the experience of dating had been a net positive. She planned to continue doing it for as long as it remained so.

She was wearing a form-fitting black tank top; her strong, lean muscles were defined and prominent (as were her scars). Her usual baggy pants and combat boots hid her cybernetic prosthetic leg. The sun felt good against her skin, and the cool breeze ruffled her long and somewhat unkempt hair.

She knew Sonnet would be uncomfortable being romantic in public. She had practically told her as much. But it had been months, and they had yet to meet in a public setting. Evelyn decided it was time to rip off that metaphorical band-aid. There were so many places she wanted to go with Sonnet. She was tired of getting drinks and eating food alone. She wanted to truly be with her - literally, physically, and that meant not just going on dates in her apartment.

She saw Sonnet before Sonnet saw her. A small smile graced her lips. Sonnet looked. Fucking. Adorable. Most might not have such thoughts about the woman, knowing what she was capable of, but Evelyn was far from most. Her smile grew as she saw Sonnet checking her hair in her phone’s camera. She never knew that such a small, pedestrian act could make her heart flutter.

Even so, Sonnet seemed on edge. Evelyn hoped she could soon assuage her nerves.

Her eyes narrowed, however, as someone catcalled her girlfriend. So this was what jealousy felt like. With them only meeting in private, Evelyn hadn’t had the opportunity to see Sonnet admired by someone else, especially not so aggressively. She did not like it. Instinctively, she reached for a knife, but paused. She couldn’t let herself get sidetracked. This day was about Sonnet, not whoever the fuck that was.

Her cheerful face returned as Sonnet finally caught sight of her. As she approached Sonnet, Cat stayed by Evelyn’s side, but he did not hiss or growl at Sonnet. She’d brought him with her a few times to Sonnet’s apartment, and while it was rough at first, Cat had become accustomed to Sonnet. That did not mean he liked her, but he didn’t take every opportunity he could to attack her. He tolerated her presence. ”I hope you don’t mind Cat. He likes to come with me when I go outside. He’ll probably run off somewhere at some point,” she said.

The side of her lip twitched upwards at Sonnet’s nervous greeting and failed attempt at a hug. Deciding to take the initiative, she hugged Sonnet herself, and though the gesture had romantic intentions, one could construe it as being platonic, and very purposefully so. She didn’t want Sonnet to get too nervous too quickly.

“That person that catcalled you, do you want me to stab them?” she said softly into Sonnet’s ear. “I can send Cat after them. Then their catcall would be appropriately answered.” She stepped back, releasing the hug, and paused for a moment, processing what she'd just said. “I just made a pun,” she said, amused with herself.

Sonnet Matsuda

[Sonnet Matsuda]

Shortcut My childhood spat back out the monster that you see + Evelyn Winters

The unintentional joke by Evelyn makes Sonnet smile, a little. As well as her offer to defend her honour with what would have undoubtedly been lethal force. She feels a sudden heat in her face, looking around to see if the sun has suddenly somehow intensified. It takes her a moment to realise that the heat is a blush. The realisation only makes the blush intensify and she looks away, feeling embarrassed. In looking away she catches Cat's eye. The animal doesn't seem to like her much, but he also doesn't seem to actively dislike her. At least not anymore, she'd had to replace the sofa after he'd shredded it the first night he'd spent in her apartment. "No, that's OK." Her smile grows a little, "Maye next time though." She is behaving like a school girl. She shouldn't be blushing like she was in high school looking at a crush. What's worse is there are people around, all of them witness to her embarrassment. For a moment she feels the urge to just leave, and for her it would be so easy. There would be no awkward run through the park, no need to attempt to evade the woman she'd come here to meet. She could be on the other side of the city in the blink of an eye. Sonnet blinks. She's still in the park. People are still brushing past her and Evelyn. Evelyn's still there. Sonnet is almost surprised to find that she herself is still there, after all, escape for her is almost as easy as breathing. Perhaps that's why she hadn't eaten much before coming out. It would have made no difference to her figure, but it did mean that using her ability would require far more consideration than normal. Sonnet gestures away from the crowds, down a side path that, while still busy, will lead them somewhere a little further off the beaten track. "This way?" Being in such a crowded place doesn't do anything for her nerves, and Sonnet can't help but feel that there is someone there making a judgement about the two women. It probably means she is less likely to run into someone she knows, but somehow the thought doesn't make her feel that much better. She wants to be closer to Evelyn, the hug had felt good. The sensation of Evelyn's body against her own had felt good. Yet the thought of being closer here makes her chest hurt. It's confusing, and trying to untangle the web of contradictory feelings just makes her hesitate. Instead she pushes them aside and starts moving, pausing a few steps away. "Come on. This way." She's surprised how much she enjoys looking back at Evelyn, and how hard it is to pull her gaze away and start walking down the path, fully expecting Evelyn to follow. The shadow of the trees brings some relief from the gaze of the sun, and equally, the gaze of others. Maybe being more out of sight would let her pluck up the courage to be a little more intimate in 'public'.

© seadra of gs

[Evelyn Winters]

It felt good to make Sonnet smile. She never knew that someone else’s emotional reaction could stir something like that inside of her besides, well, you know...But she didn’t want to think about him today. She didn’t want to think about the past, about who she used to be. She was a changed woman, and she wanted to accept that. That meant leaving the past behind, no matter how painful it may be to part with it. It was a slow process, but she was doing her best.

Sonnet was blushing. She was blushing a lot. Was that good or bad? Was she flattered or nervous? Typically, Evelyn could read body language like a book. Quite literally, she learned to do so as one might learn a foreign language. However, she found when it came to social situations like this, social situations that involved her, literally and emotionally, the language was much more difficult to decipher. She thought about asking Sonnet outright, but, after consideration, realized that if she was nervous, bringing that to the surface might serve to increase her anxiety. So, she didn’t say anything and just did her best to look reassuring.

Evelyn smiled back. ”Next time,” she agreed.

Unsurprisingly, Sonnet gestured towards a path away from the crowd. ”Sure,” Evelyn agreed. Whatever would make Sonnet more comfortable. Evelyn understood the importance of baby steps.

She followed her girlfriend (still weird to think about, g-ir-l-fr-ien-d) down the path. She wanted to get closer to Sonnet, but again, baby steps, so she kept a comfortable distance. They were quite close together, but they were not touching. Again, one could construe them as being “just friends,” though the looks on their faces whenever their eyes met was far from platonic.

As they walked down the path, she heard the flutter of wings as from the bushes, as, evidently, did Cat. His ears perked up, his pupils dilated, his body stiffened. Another flutter and he was off, darting into the brush. ”I told you,” she said with a little smile. ”He’ll come back later; hopefully he’ll bring us a gift.” Evelyn was very appreciative of Cat sharing his half-eaten prey with her. She’d made a nice hobby of taxiderming the dead animals - an aspect of her life she’d shared with Sonnet, though she hadn’t shown her any of her work. Not yet. But she'd like to. One day soon, she hoped.

Evelyn’s relaxed and jovial mood took a nosedive as someone brushed against her arm. She jumped back violently, colliding into Sonnet. Instinctively, her hand shot into her pocket, her fingers wrapping around the hilt of a blade hidden inside her cybernetic leg. Her mind was in panic mode. Her face returned to cold neutrality, though her heavy and panicked breathing gave her away. The woman who’d brushed up against her simply gave her a weird look as she walked past. Evelyn stood stiff, mind buzzing and screaming, eyes tracking the woman as she walked down the path and disappeared.

Once the perceived threat was out of sight, Evelyn closed her eyes and took a slow, deep breath. Her muscles, while still tense, relaxed ever so slightly. Her breathing slowed, and she took her hand out of her pocket. She turned back toward Sonnet, face emoting embarrassment and shame, though instead of her cheeks flushing, her blood felt horribly, horribly cold. ”Sorry, I um...it happens.” She’d disclosed her PTSD and related symptoms to Sonnet, though she never went into detail about her trauma (and she doubted she ever would). Still, this was the first time Sonnet had seen it in action.

”Let’s just...continue,” she said, still clearly a bit shaken.

Despite Evelyn’s insistence on a public outing, Sonnet wasn’t the only one who had problems being out among the populace.

Sonnet Matsuda

[Sonnet Matsuda]

Shortcut My childhood spat back out the monster that you see + Evelyn Winters

The reaction is automatic, without thought. One arm folds around Evelyn as she comes sharply up against her, her fingers coming to rest on Evelyn's wrist. She can feel the moment of tension in the woman, and she's seen her produce enough knives from her pockets to make an educated guess as to what might be producing that tension. Her fingers tighten around Evelyn's slim, scarred wrist, urging her not to remove the knife from her prosthetic. Equally, Sonnet feels Evelyn begin to relax, and lets her move away. Mostly. Her fingers stay wrapped about the other woman's scarred wrist. She looks down at Where they have made contact, feeling a flush come to her face once again. They remain like that for only a moment, though it feels like a lifetime. Then Sonnet drops her hand, looking up as a man in a suit strolls past. He looks to be in his early sixties, white haired, with a prominent bald spot and a hefty gut. He doesn't even glance in their direction, staring up at the trees instead and clutching what looks to be a bird spotters guidebook in one liver spotted hand. Sonnet watches him go, then, when they are alone, reaches out her hand again, this time entwining her fingers in Evelyn's. She doesn't comment on this action, or draw any other attention to it, but is clearly somewhat on edge. She squeezes. "It's fine." Then, taking the lead, begins to walk down the path between the trees. There are far less people here, and as the morning begins to wear on, the occasional people passing by grow less frequent as the rush hour comes to an end. Sometimes Sonnet remains holding Evelyn's hand, but mostly she releases it when someone walks past. The Loeb Boathouse might be famous, but it's not bustling at this time of the morning, mainly dealing with the early rising tourists. Later, at lunchtime, it will no doubt be packed with more tourists and any person fortunate enough to work beside Central Park. Sonnet releases Evelyn's hand anyway as they approach it. A smiling waitress greets them at the door, and Sonnet requests one of the tables looking over the lake, albeit one behind a pillar making it all but invisible to most of the rest of the clientele. When they sit, she deliberately leaves her hand on the table, swallowing noticeably. "I guess... it's not... not that bad..."

© seadra of gs